I’m not a clever political commentator or blogger, I would never be able to wrap my head around the scripts that Armando Iannuci creates if someone asked me to dip my toe into fiction. What I am is an Executive Assistant, have been for too many years I care to count, and one that has been *obsessed with the Leveson enquiry.
So, here I am typing away at my desk listening to our Prime Minister claim he barely recalls what days of the week end in the letter Y, let alone anything of importance to Robert Jay QC (the man fast replacing Jarvis Cocker as the thinking womans crumpet). Of course I have tabs open and a complicated excel spreadsheet to hide my blog if anyone walks into my office, multitasking is key to my job.
Also key to this job is diary management. Given every MP that has appeared on the inquiry has claimed that their diary does not reflect their actual meetings and whereabouts I can only suggest that
- They’ve hired the monkeys from the PG Tips adverts as secretaries and dressed them in black dresses and pearl necklaces, which although is an endearing image for some sorts I am sure the Animal rights groups would not be happy about the chimps alternative employment
- They’re all telling whopping barefaced lies
After a milliseconds thought I am willing to bet my ovaries it’s the latter.
I’ve had dealings with MP’s offices frequently. More often than not they have a very efficient PA and a second staff member whose job title is “Diary Manager”. That’s their one remit, nothing else. All day, five days a week they make sure every minute detail is in the diary. The where, what, why and with whom. Quite simply, you don’t randomly leave meetings in the diary that get cancelled, rescheduled. Neither do you put meetings in that don’t exist. Lies, lies from tiny eyes. The whole lot of them.
*So obsessed that I dedicated Prince’s You Sexy MF to Ian Hislop’s performance at the Leveson Inquiry on Shaun Keaveny’s 6 Music’s Breakfast show on a feature called Songs Of Praise.