Festival Fashion Fail
I recently stumbled across a piece in The Guardian that is basically rubbish. Not something I would usually say about the paper I purchase. Someone was paid, actual money, to write a piece in The Guardian titled ‘How to stay chic after three days in a field’.
It made me irrationally mad.
It’s 16 ‘must-have’ fashion tips for any idiot out there who would rush out and purchase ‘fantastical props’ (it’s suggested an inflatable guitar is THE way to mark your campsite). I also feel the need to hulk out at the mention of adults wearing animal hoods. It actually saddens me to publicize a link for this diatribe but just so you can share my rage you can find it *here.
I am quite aware that this is basically a promotional shopping list, but I’m still clenching my fists.
The thought that going to a festival has turned into an al fresco, bumpy surfaced cat walk is laughable to anyone that attends for the very reason festivals exist (i.e. the music and acceptable to drink at 8am attitude). Anyone that does think it’s an opportunity to showcase their latest outfits are a bit silly and they deserve to attend at least one stupidly muddy, rainy, grim weather festival.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t cut arm holes out of hessian sacks and bin liners, I love to (attempt to) look good at festivals. It’s just that this particular article was so utterly lacking in any useful information I felt compelled, duty bound, to write about it. It may as well of ended on “Actually, just dress up as a big Edwardian clown, in high heels with a rain catcher strapped to your head”.
This article should have highlighted how unpredictable the English Weather is and stated the following:
- If a farmer wouldn’t buy the brand of Wellington boots you’re opting for put them back on the shelf
- If your sun-hat doesn’t provide sufficient cover for your hooter expect to be cherry red
- If an able seaman wouldn’t recommend your waterproof walk away from it
- Dress up and look amazing, but don’t expect anything to come back in mint condition
- Jeans are vile to put back on when they’re soaking wet so if weather does look bad ditch them
- Pack light, **Lolita proved you can go 5 days with one pair of shorts and two t-shirts at Glastonbury last year
- Prepare for all conditions, remain drunk, have a shit load of fun ♥
*I will defend Tatty Devine as being a wonderful however and need to point out a piece of theirs usually creeps into my wardrobe whatever the occasion.
** I must stress Lolita cultivated quite a unique smell by the Sunday afternoon, all my friends enjoyed sniffing him during MGMT. So only follow this route if you want to turn into a science experiment