Edge Of Seventeen

I alluded briefly on my blog this Sunday to two teenage girls we met at the Hot Chip iTunes festival. They were in front of us in the queue and immediately started chatting away. At first we just talked about their love of Madness, how much they liked the tattoo behind my ear, cars (of which I am brilliantly ignorant, that’s Lucy’s department) and make-up. The usual topics I’d expect to cover with two sixteen year-old’s (apart from Madness, that threw me). They also couldn’t get over how old I was. I told them I was 33 (it turns out I am not 33 at all. I am in fact 34 and at some point over the past couple of years I have accidentally been lying about my age. That’s another story I’m still trying to get my head around).

This may also go some way to explaining why at one point I found myself screaming “I don’t even know if you kids think high-fives are cool any more but I’m giving you one anyway”. They humoured me with part pity and part bemusement.

Conversation soon moved on to truancy, let down dads and getting into fights. That’s when, in my drunken state, I imagined a cape falling from the skies and wrapping round my shoulders. I must be a responsible and inspirational person in a queue for a very brilliant band. They had to endure lectures about why they shouldn’t fancy Chris Brown, that if they keep on getting into fights how they need to join a boxing club like Nicola Adams, drugs, careers, school. I covered it all in a breathless whirlwind before the band started, each time something they said gave me cause for concern. We just danced non-stop after that, pausing only for me to give them horrendously middle-aged nods and winks every time boys their age walked past.

I was so determined to make some small impression on these girls, some little dent that come Monday morning they’ll decide not to bunk off school after all  that I didn’t really take into consideration some of the things they were saying to me. When I told them I had a date soon they grabbed me by the shoulders and told me not to sleep with boys on the first night with furrowed brows and a stern pout, it was the most serious I’d seen them all night. When one of them said she had an audition for a talent show she turned to me and said ”It’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out, life carries on doesn’t it? You just keep putting one foot in front of the other”. Wise words from one so young.

Followed by the other one grinning at me, pointing at Hot Chip and saying “I like the beats”, North Face jacket pulled up over her head, Nike Blazers keeping perfect time. I am in love with that simple sentence. All my music reviews now will have that ode to her, even folk music. I like the beats.

You know, I told someone about these girls and they told me they’re probably already a lost cause. I’m not so sure. After all they burst into song during Hot Chip covering Fleetwood Mac’s Everywhere and with huge grins said “We love Stevie Nicks”.

A Christmas Mixtape

When I was a small child I used to decorate the house by unwrapping every Lil-let I could find in the house and hang them from the Christmas tree or sellotape them dangling from the window frames. I was too young to know what their real purpose in life was for. However, I must have known it was wrong as I would only ever Blue Peter the house up, using sanitary products, when my mums back was turned. I remember still feeling slightly perplexed as she frantically ran round the house tearing down all my hard work before guests arrived.

Inevitably one fluffy white icicle would always remain unspotted, which possibly spurred me on to keep repeating this action until I was old enough to know better.

Merry Christmas to everyone that’s ever supported, stumbled upon, shrugged off this blog. Hang an unused tampon from your doorbell this year if you want to scare away the carol singers. This tip (and the mixtape below) are my gift to you.

Click here to play the mixtape. I’m especially fond of Jarvis Cocker dancing in Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds video, and if you have never heard Cyndi Lauper & The Hives, In A Christmas Duel, you will instantly want to dangle mistletoe over their heads and snog their faces off. ♥

1.  Emmy The Great & Tim Wheeler – (Don’t Call Me) Mrs Christmas
2.  Saint Etienne – I Was Born On Christmas Day
3.  Cyndi Lauper & The Hives -  In A Christmas Duel
4.  Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Fifteen Foot Of Pure White Snow
5.  Lynrd Skynrd – Santa’s Messin’ With The Kids
6.  Ike & Tina Turner – Merry Christmas Baby
7.  Summer Camp – All I Wonderful Christmas Is You
8.  Yeah Yeah Yeahs – All I Want For Christmas
9.  Dolly Parton – Hard Candy Christmas
10. The Ronettes – Sleigh Ride
11. The Pogues & Kirsty McColl – Fairytale Of New York
12. Bob Dylan – Hark The Herald Angels Sing
13. Kate Bush – December Will Be Magic Again
14. Wham – Last Christmas
15. Al Green – The Christmas Song
16. Mariah Carey – All I Want For Christmas Is You
17. She & Him – Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree
18. The Kills – Silent Night
19. Elvis Presley & Martina McBride – Blue Christmas
20. Clarence Carter – Back Door Santa
21. Sufjan Stevens – Put The Lights On The Tree
22. Slow Club – Christmas TV
23. The Maccabees – Home Alone Medley
24. Darlene Love – Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

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