Posts Tagged ‘Lifestyle’
Earlier this week I found myself having a conversation with one of the Director’s in my office. He was telling me he suffers terribly from “middle-aged resentment”. That he’s constantly aware at all times, someone out there younger than he is, will be having the time of their life. His best days are behind him.
At the time it wasn’t something I could entirely connect with, I laughed and thought “poor sod”. Until I took a peek at his passport the other day and realised he’s actually only a couple of years older than I am.
I’m 34 this year (we all say how old we’re going to be next birthday don’t we? Never the age we’re at now) and have never thought that put me in the ”middle-age” category. I always thought I was smugly past those rosy days of your twenties when you think life is spontaneous and chances are handed freely to you just by merit of your naive enthusiasm. Feel like I’m not quite in the days of my forties where I fully expect to feel like I have let myself down in not saving the human race or keeping a plant alive for more than a fortnight and then start buying shit loads of cats. Then I found out Chris Packham is 51 and I am hugely confused about where middle-age starts, and strongly suspect that actually maybe these age brackets that try to define us don’t exist anymore. Being that he looks as youthful, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as a boy scout.
I like lurking in my thirties. So my hangovers can last a couple of days and Topshop feels increasingly like its laughing at me for trying to remain in its demographic. But my boobs are exactly where they should be still (although I strongly suspect my bum may not be, but I don’t have to look at that). I still feel like I have time to ignore my ever-present nagging conscience saying “what are you going to do with your life?”, I pretend not to hear it over the Tinnitus.
We always talk about our idyllic childhoods don’t we? No one ever tags that word on to our adult years. Tragically sad really.
During the British Tinnitus Associations awareness week I blogged about my relatively new experience of being a Tinnitus sufferer. I mentioned that help and advice from the two doctors I had seen had been conflicting and vague. Through my own fault, but because of my experience with the doctors, I didn’t push to see a specialist ENT doctor. I felt there was no point, this was something I was stuck with so I had to simply find a way to live with it. That has proved impossible, I have wept tears of frustration, suffered severe lack of sleep, sulked and despaired over Tinnitus.
This morning I met with a brilliant ENT consultant and for the first time in six months I feel the gentle of hum of hope. It’s hard to describe Tinnitus, give sufficient words to something that effectively only happens in your head, but he understood every bumbled answer I gave, even when I described how it shifts from ear to ear depending on what side I’m lying on in bed, like tipping a snow globe.
He explained how sometimes Tinnitus can be a symptom and not the cause, the sole problem. He suspects, after much prodding, poking and tuning fork testing that a dysfunction in my Eustachian Tube is responsible. That idea, a faulty dysfunctional tube, is much more concrete to me than the constant buzz no one can hear.
So now I’ll have to tell people I have a Eustachian tube dysfunction which is causing my Tinnitus. That’s already a lot more information than I’ve been given prior to seeing a specialist and you know what they say about knowledge.
I now have to perform what looks like a faulty yoga pose twice a day while I stick nose drops up my hooter for two weeks. This is the helpful diagram I was given. If this doesn’t help then I’ll go back and we’ll look at other options.
One thing that has astounded me over the past few months is how many people suffer from Tinnitus, and even more worrying is how many people feel that their doctors are not equipped to help. I have blogged about my experience today because I felt duty bound to urge people suffering to insist on ENT appointments, not to be brushed aside and told to “deal with it”. I haven’t blogged because I like typing Eustachian Tube.
Here’s to happy hearing. ♥